Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
