In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
