I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My day in three words: secret purse cake
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
