no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
