If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
