Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
