He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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