So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize