it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
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