Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
