Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
