his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
