I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
