too bad you live with your parents still
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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