Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize