The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
