Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We are all done wearing pants today
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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