Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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