Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
