I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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