do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
