I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
