Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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