we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
