And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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