Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
