They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
