I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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