I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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