we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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