i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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