yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
