I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
