Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
