you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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