I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think I won the penis lottery.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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