Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
