Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
