Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
