is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
