I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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