He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
