We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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