My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize