The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
