if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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