Rock
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Fuck
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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