I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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