If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
