he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
