I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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