So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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