Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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