i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My vagina just recognized that song.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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