I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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