the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
