He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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