Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
