i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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