I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
