We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
