so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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