heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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