If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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