Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
