Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
