you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
