That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
