I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
