I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize