So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
