I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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