the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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