Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
