And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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