girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
