I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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