smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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