I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You took a bar mat shot.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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