Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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