I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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