Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
