dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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