Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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