Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
