There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
